Crazy little thing called L-O-V-E

...How crazy do you think LOVE is?
I guess, it's crazy in the sense that it enables you do things you never thought you could do. It makes you feel things which you don't expect to feel. It's crazy when you have decided not to do things, yet you find yourself doing those in the name of love. It's funny how you change your mind all of a sudden because you claim to be in love.

What is with this word, that makes people go crazy? What aspect of love turns people into someone they never thought they would be?

I am curious, and yet a part of me don't want to know the answers. I guess, I just want it to stay magical. I want it to remain as a mystery, which I would eventually discover along the way.

All I know is that it's a gift. An opportunity and a wonderful experience.

We might have had different encounters regarding this matter, yet I believe that we share something in common. It's the fact that no matter happy, or sad, our love stories were, we LEARN.

Love taught us to believe, to trust, and to share a part of us with others.

It is in love that we learn to understand, to respect and to be honest.

It is in LOVE...

It is love that inspires us to wake up every morning. The thought of having someone to share a cup of coffee with...

It is love that makes us scribble notes in a piece of paper without even realizing that you are doing so...

It is love that allows you to see things in a different pair of eyes...

LOVE is all that and more...

pa utwas...

Often times I ask myself why people do things that would inflict negative emotions to others. May it be sadness, grief, fear, and even anger-name it! But what bothers me most is the fact that I am way too weak to let others know the reasons why I feel all these. I am too scared to express my thoughts, I am too meek to speak and I am so stupid for allowing myself to develop this kind of attitude. I easily get hurt and I always feel this way most of the time, but you will never hear me complain. I will just keep my mouth shut and allow the pain to drift away. I don't want to hurt others and I'm afraid to deliver the wrong idea. People might not understand my words the way I want them to. I hate it when I remain silent even if I might be right. You will only hear me say YES, most of the time. I am very submissive and I find it really hard to refuse. I’d rather agree with you than state what I thought for the fear of being rejected and judged. I don’t want to stain whatever relationship I have with other people, so I opt to suppress my feelings rather than blurting out to them how much I hate it when they do certain things. When you say something, you’ll always see me agree, but what you don’t see is my stand with regards to your statements. I hate it when people make me feel so inferior, it actually hurts (in case they don’t know, or never cared at all).

How am I suppose to function well and do any task when others just can’t seem to give me a chance? How will I learn to express when every time I try to speak, somebody would always point out that I am WRONG? Always wrong. I just hope that these types of people would eventually understand the word – SENSITIVITY. Many would claim that they are sensitive. They may be are, but not enough to care for others’ feelings.

Why am I scared to make decisions involving other people? Not that I don’t know how to decide, but because if I do, I might commit a mistake and drag others in some “not-so-nice” situations. That’s how less I think about myself. I always see myself failing, I am always not good enough and there will always be someone out there who is much better than me. I am doing my best, yet I still can’t seem to prove myself. BUT WHY?

I was once told that being too good is bad. People who are abusive are most likely to attack this type of people. I am not that good, but abusive people still get in my way.

What if I grow tired of listening?…of understanding? What if I lose my patience? What if I can no longer swallow my pride? What if I ran out of tears? What if my heart becomes so full that there’ll be no more space left to suppress my feelings? I’ll just burst and I’ll be shattered into tiny pieces.

I guess I wouldn’t want this to happen. I won’t wait for this moment to come. Because even if this time comes…

Nobody would notice,

Nobody would bother,

Nobody would care…